"Inevitable"

There are things in life that’s inevitable.

Things that ‘should be’ and ‘should not be’.

At this point in time, I thought that I knew where I stand in your life…

But why is it that what am seeing now gives me an unforgivable thought that I should’ve not felt?

It hurts.

My entirety is slowly being torn into shreds.

“I shouldn't feel like this”.

That’s what I told myself. Over and over for a couple of minutes… over and over.

Trying to let this feeling shrink. If only I could shape it in a ball and throw it all away.

I wish it would be as easy as that. But it isn't.

I know that its silly of me to think this way, to feel this way. But certain things are inevitable.

It may sound pathetic .

Yeah it is.

Sorry.

You told me once that am not very verbal about my feelings.

And am really not.
But this time I’ll let it pass.

I love you.

There I said it.

"The Test"

"You made me feel brand new"

That's the song that flutters through my head whenever I see you.

It's like you collected all those LOVE ELEMENTS from the air, bottled it, 

and made me inhale everything without me noticing.

I was genuinely in love with you. Hands down.

You know that.

You felt it.

But living in two separate planets simultaneously became a struggle for us.

Were living in a world that is full of multiple choice questions. 

And in this part of the test, encircling letter E is never an option.

Time passed.

Our passion grew stronger. 

That I know.

That I felt.

Then time came that we have to submit our papers.

My multiple choice question is still blank.

Your's... I don't know.

I held my paper tightly... almost crumpled, soaking in tears.

You turned your back on me.

Submit your paper and left.

I stared at the questionnaire.

Encircled my answer.

Then left the room without passing my paper.

.

Where?

Little by little i sneaked into the ajar without knowing what'll find out.

Hoping that ill find someone better..someone smarter, someone cooler.

And then i peeped through it.

The dim light enabled me to see what i wanted to see.

A Fragment.. A Figure, Then a silhouette... That's all that i saw.

Just as when my vision gets clearer and clearer I became frightened.

My heart started pounding like a drum.

I ran towards the clearing..

Grasping for air and because of freight,

I never realized that you followed me.

Then out of nowhere you tapped me on my shoulder...

"where do we go from here?" you asked.

Dumbfounded by what i've experienced... I startled on my answer.

Glad you didn't hear it though I wish you did.

When i was about to reiterate, you disappeared.

I held my ground.

Sat still for countless of hours.

Then I began to question myself...

"where do I go from here"

"My Hamster"

It's been ages since i last posted something on this blog. Maybe because there's really nothing important to share; Maybe because i was just to busy with my professional life; or maybe i was just not feeling it.... I went on a walk to "lala dessert" yesterday where everything is created and hewn for me. Where every grain of sand is as sweet as hardened molasses, pillars of giant cream cheese and a barren road made of Nuttela bars. I was having the nicest dream, when a cute little hamster pops out from nowhere then invited me to join him in his world. Out of curiosity i ended up traveling with this stranger. We traveled long for a long time... minutes turned to hours, days turned to years. Its was not the best of a journey i should say but the two of us made it worthwhile. Sometimes we'd stop at the walls to watch the stars fall one by one. Pick apple-mangoes from nowhere and eat siu-mai once in a while, Litson-laing and devil's cakes. Shared a lot of stories as we walk. This and that.. which i prefer to keep for myself.

We also played our part struggling to overcome the witches of time and familiarity . Sucked by a wormhole, enchanted by a shape shifting bovine, talking baraccuda an enchantress that tried to lure my hamster after the curse of intoxication.
Good thing we were able to set our differences aside and arrived victorious. Then along the way my hamster grew tired. It went on ahead with the nimbus cloud and flew in a faster pace than our usual. I did my best catching up. At times I'd grab a part of that cloud and fall, then run and grab a part of it and fall again...

As I hurriedly tries catching up with the clouds pace... i woke up.

I know it isn't the end of that dream. It doesn't have to end yet.. and it never will.

"goodbye" doesn't end when two people said their farewells..
It end when one walks away and the other decided no to follow"

"Aroma Enchantress"

Just got home from work...

Staring at the ceiling with an empty stomach, when a sudden aromatic flavor entered my window. T'was my neighbor whose poorer than a sewer rat, sauteing their leftover rice from their supper a night ago. The flavorful scent is talking to me... telling me to extend my extremities outside the window and enjoy more of its enchanting prowess.

Then i realized that i am indeed, with no doubt, 200% hungry.

En Media Res (Repost)

Iced black coffee with a twist of artificial orange,half pack of menthol smoke that reminds me of an old friend, to the tune of the ever infamous WEAK by Jojo.

What a nostalgic feeling. It's like my heart wanted to feel more of it but my brain's telling me to stop. I know in me that everything's done and over, but why is it still haunting me? Bittersweet memories that is from afar, draining enough energy to cry myself to sleep.

The verdict has been passed so there's no other road to take but the route to acceptance...

But one things for sure, I'll never say goodbye love.


My coffee's getting warm...

Killing Boredom

Being a complete junkie, i always make sure that i watch a movie or two every other day. And since am bed-ridden for 4 days now ( and still countin..) i made an exception, i watched 3 movies in one seating! full 5 hrs! in One day! Am not being greedy, am I? Pfft. (n_n)v